another stupid letter

Dear Dionysus,

I miss you.

You might not understand my silence, but it needs to exist in peace right now. I am unsettled and too insecure to turn your way today. You don't need this doubt, nor do I.

I closed my door last night and locked it. I didn't even allow for music to revel in this state of mind. The silence echoed your lack of presence.

I do know we are friends - companions, even, in our own way.

I feel like right now your life is moving too quickly to include me. Please don't misunderstand. I don't mean to say you should change that or feel bad because of it. I only mean that as long as I don't quite fit, I have to distance myself. Insecurity lives inside me like a demon I can't exorcise.

You shouldn't be the victim of my lack of confidence.

I joke all the time and tell you how great I think I am.

I lie, Dio. I lie.

I don't believe a word of it.

I haven't evolved as much as you have. I still need to hear such words from others.

I really wish I didn't.

I don't want to need to hear reassurances from you.

I miss you.

Shine on,

Silenus